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The other night I lay in bed with my mice out of the blue when Eva asked me: "Mum, but when Elijah was born, Alberto us would be the same?".

reply: "I do not know Alberto Eva ... I came because my father and we still had so much love to give and why you wanted it so much as a little brother! Why do you ask?".

Eve: "Because if you had two to deal with this pain in the ass of a brother (referring to Alberto) was a lot better!"

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Eva's "Small as a seed" A gift to my heart



My life is like a small seed.
Like a seed, in my smallness,
contains the Eternal Life.
Like a seed, I need fertile land,
your heart, to blossom and open up my petals.
I'm a little seed from the many shoots, which rocks with the beating of your heart and warm
with the tenderness of your memories.
So I will blossom. I'll be your flower and you my water:
we can not do without each other.
I will live in your present.
in today and those who want to enjoy your my favorite colors.
And even if my scent is not of this world,
you going to let the wind carry off the feeling.
I live in you. You live for me.
This will make us united in a time that knows no limits or spaces.
This and nothing else.
My roots are anchored to your Love.
No matter the time or day, or the moments
that there were and that you regret.
long you'll be there, forever I'll be there too.
I eat for you are my garden.
And I'll let my petals bring back the spring.

Marianne (called "ssssia Mery)

Dedicated to all the kids little angels.

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Initially I could not give me a reason for the loss of my child, but then I realized, I realized what was contained in that pain ... a great love! Not only to give but to receive it is through him that I have met many wonderful people, many parents and special in their own way, with his pain, his strength, his experience has enriched me more each day, making I could put away a great treasure, unique, priceless .. the legacy of Elijah!

Among all these people, one in particular came into my heart, making the spot and put them there in the first row, ensuring an exclusive place, has done with its sweetness, with its understanding, with its great big heart, with his tenacity, his stubbornness ... in respect of a bigger picture of us, in respect of the loss of our beautiful little angels, Elijah and Linda !

The symbol of this friendship is contained not only in my heart that even in a pendant Ilaria gave me for Christmas, a gift to my heart, and a unique gift as precious as our bond, a pendant a little 'fluffy ", which already has a long history of loss, strength bracelets, pilgrimages goldsmith .. short a adrenalin pendant, a bit 'as our way of being!

A unique pendant that unites us moms special that unites our minds, because every time I look at him and every time I hear him waver, my mind goes to Elijah, who manages a pendant, in a single instant, to pick up many eyes to the sky and sending a loving thought for our many, too many children in heaven!

ILARIA THANKS!

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Writing .. my care

I feel, I feel, I see .... and then write!

Writing has been my care, my therapy in the development of my negative experiences of life, through writing I can represent my thoughts, my mood and I do it straight off, at the expense of grammar and logic.

E 'was the best way to externalize my grief over the loss of Elijah, and was the way I came into contact and are able to interact with dozens of mothers that interface in the forum, was the way to others understand, what I tried and I try, it was a little 'how to break a dam and give vent to my feelings.

I realized what made me feel good to write during the period of non-maternity of Elijah, when in front of that monitor started to Write, write e-mail, sometimes addressed to those who do not know, sometimes with a sense , sometimes not, sometimes angry, sometimes desperate ... but that's how I started my preparation staff in mourning!

From then on I have never stopped, so I continued writing on the forum, then picking up my memories on a quadernino, then translate them into practice on the blog and finally writing a "book" does not matter if what flows from my heart or not read by someone, I do not care the complacency of others, I do not care that others know, but I'm interested in some way to animate my thoughts, bring them out from the darkness of my skull and make them live ... the only way I can really get rid of my emotions, whether positive or negative ... just so I could make "live" my baby!